Is Divorce Mediation Right for You?     For some couples, contested divorce is the only realistic option.  However, for many, it may be beneficial to try mediation.  Couples are most likely to have a successful mediation experience where many of the following statements are true:     Both individuals have accepted the decision to divorce There is no possibility of reconciliation The couple wants to stay on good terms for the benefit of their children Both parties have a general understanding of the couple's financial condition Neither party is easily intimidated by their spouse There has been no domestic violence in the relationship Both parties feel that their spouse has been a good parent and want their continuing involvement in parenting the children           What Does the Mediator Do?     A divorce mediator is a neutral party specially trained to help couples resolve the issues in their divorce.  The mediator facilitates the communication between the parties by making sure each party is given an uninterrupted time to speak, asking a party to restate or explain a point when necessary, and raising questions to make communications clear.  When necessary, the mediator will refer the couple to third party experts for services such as appraisals.           How Does the Process Work?     Initially, the mediator meets with each party separately to determine whether mediation is appropriate and if it can be effective in their situation.  Subsequent meetings are with the couple and usually last two (2) hours. At the first joint meeting, the couple and the mediator identify the issues needed to be discussed and the order in which they will be discussed.  They decide what information needs to be gathered and shared.  Between the first and later sessions, the couple collects all relevant financial data, or if necessary, the opinions of experts such as appraisers or accountants. At future meetings, options are developed that meet the needs of both parties and their children. When an agreement has been reached on all issues, the mediator drafts a Memorandum of Understanding, which becomes the basis for property settlement and parenting agreements.           How do Court Papers Get Filed?     Usually, the parties have attorneys to file necessary court documentation.           How Long Does Mediation Take?     The ability and willingness of the individuals to be flexible as they negotiate an agreement acceptable to both determines the length of the mediation.  Every case is different, but the average case usually takes three to six two-hour mediation sessions spread out over several months.           What Will it Cost?     In a typical case, parties can expect to pay a combined total of between $2,000 and $4,000, based on an hourly rate and the actual time spent by the mediator.  This includes their mediation sessions and preparation of the Memorandum of Understanding. The cost of each party's attorney for legal advice and to review the agreement and judgement is in addition to the cost of mediation.           Is Mediation Cheaper than Using Lawyers to Handle a Divorce?     Many lawyers charge a retainer fee of between $2,500 and $5,000 for most average cases, and bill the client for services in addition to the time covered by the retainer.  The retainer amount may be substantially more in complex cases. Typical divorce costs in litigation can run two to ten times higher than the cost of mediation.  The emotional cost to the parties and their children who go through litigated divorces may be much greater.  This emotional cost is significantly less in mediated settlements.           Should I See a Lawyer During Mediation?     Mediation is not a substitute for the services of a qualified attorney.  Both parties are encouraged to obtain independent legal advice during the mediation process, and to have their lawyer review the agreement before it is signed.  The mediator cannot give either party legal advice.           What if We Can't Agree on All Issues?     It is unusual to agree on all but one or two issues, but in that case an agreement can be prepared on all settled issues and the parties can litigate the remaining issues or continue with mediation.